Tales of the Parodyverse

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Anime Jason
Tue Jan 18, 2005 at 12:24:16 am EST

Subject
The long-awaited alternate Manga Shoggoth/Bridgit tale. But just a taste, because I'm not sure how well it works
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Shoggoth Re-Invented


    The many angled fortress far below Antarctica served as the home for a vile, blasphemous being known as the Manga Shoggoth. It was a place filled with contradictions to the very laws of physics, a haven for mysteries to the human mind. For instance, it was warm and dry, in spite of being essentially a frozen cave located far below the water table, and technology abounded in absence of a power source.

    And the most blasphemous and contradictory fact of all, the young woman the Manga Shoggoth himself chose as his High Priestess and liaison to the human world around him. Someone who could help him understand the people who supported him, and to help them understand him without going insane. Someone to protect him and his views. And most importantly, someone who could shop for anime for him without attracting too much attention.

    It all started over three hundred years ago with a young, blonde woman known only as Bridgit, a British subject who decided to engage in piracy.

    "By the authority of the governor of this island, granted by His Majesty the King of England, for crimes including piracy, and performing satanistic rituals, you are hereby sentence to hang by the neck...until dead." a man wearing a white powered wig gently rolled up the parchment paper pronouncing Bridgit's sentence, and then gave a nod. A drumroll began sounding as the executioner finished sharpening his blade.

    "Have you any last words?" the man in the powered wig asked.
    
    "Yes," Brigit responded patiently. "They were not satanic rituals. They were Cthulic."

    A murmur erupted from the crowd, and the powered wig man became livid. "That's outrageous! Even more blasphemous!" He motioned to the executioner.

    And then total chaos erupted. A semi-transparent slime began oozing up from beneath the gallows, engulfing its wooden structure and causing it to collapse. The executioner and the drummer both dove for safety. Spectators and soldiers alike began screaming and running away.

    And moments later, Bridgit disappeared.
    
    The moment would be forgotten to history, but not accidentally. It was one of the few times in the so-called 'modern world' that a human being would be erased from every concievable record of the time. It had been decided by everyone present, after viewing a particular abomination called a Shoggoth, that it was something better off not known, better off not remembered.


---


    "Hey, Elder, you miss me?" Bridgit called out as she returned to the many-angled antarctic fortress. She tossed a couple of DVD's on the pillows covering the floor in the Anime Viewing Room. The entire time she spoke she never stopped chewing gum. "Video Girl Ai. Like?"

    The Manga Shoggoth didn't particularly care for being called 'Elder'. He allowed her to both because it amused him, and because he knew she called him that since the day he told her how isolated he felt among a sea of humans. She meant it to boost his ego, to make him feel more important. And besides, he rather liked her informal nature, and he wanted to encourage it.

    'Thank you,' the Manga Shoggoth said. 'How was school?'
    
    "It's college." She rolled her eyes and gave him an exasperated sigh. "I know you want me to get a modern education and all, but I'm totally bored out of my skull. I can learn so much more here."

    'It is not about learning more,' the Shoggoth explained yet again, 'but learning what they know.'

    "Yah, I know." Bridgit finally took the gum out of her mouth. She raised an eyebrow and asked, "Want it? Bet you can analyze it and guess what I ate for lunch."

    'No thank you,' the Manga Shoggoth said. 'While I find your ability to eat strange foods fascinating, I have anime to catch up on.'

    "Suit yourself." Bridgit snapped her fingers and the piece of gum vaporized into the gaseous equivelents of its source compounds.

    The Manga Shoggoth would have been amused by that, if he were easily amused. The power of transmutation was one of the first things she learned. Amusingly enough, because she was a bit of a mischievous soul who enjoyed sending people into a panic by making valuable items vanish into a cloud of dust, or diamonds degrade back into coal.

    She wore the clear evidence of the success of her lessons around her neck. A thin chain made of rare metals refined from rocks, and a small pendant made of a diamond created from a hardened piece of coal. Encased safely within the diamond was a small fragment of the Shoggoth, which could not be released without transmuting the diamond first, unless the Shoggoth fragment chose to be released.

    Bridgit was always a fast learner. Even to her days as a Carribean pirate, prowling the British shipping lanes for valuable cargo. That's how she became tanned, and how her dark hair had become such a pure blonde. Her tenacity and sly planning was what kept her crew together and out of trouble.

    Out on the open seas is where she belonged, where the limits of civilized society couldn't hold her back in her quest for the new and different. She was always easily bored, and a wanderer by nature.

    And that's why she was the perfect High Priestess for the Shoggoth. Around him, there was always something new, exciting, and different for Bridgit to experience. She had no want for something more, felt no need to explore, as all she had to do was wait and something would happen to change her perceptions forever.

    "Think I could pull that look off?" Bridgit teased the Shoggoth about one of the animated girls on screen as he began watching one of the DVD's. She found it fascinating that he didn't care which order he watched his anime in - he seemed to enjoy it just fine in non-linear fashion.

    'You may attract a lot of unwanted attention,' he replied, 'or so I have surmised from watching CrazySugarFreakBoy!'

    "Y'know, maybe you shouldn't use him as an example," Bridgit pointed out. "He's kind of a freak. An amusing one, but still."

    'Nevertheless, he seems to be the Lair Legion standard for healthy relationships.'

    "Hmm. I never thought of it that way."



TO BE CONTINUED?

    
    
-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission. Characters owned by their respective
-- owners, whoever they may be.



To the Spirit of the Night, I surrender...



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